Desperately searching for the Lord and for the first time, admitting I fear what I may find. Looking at the lines I’ve drawn and finding that all they ever meant were chalk erasable grime. Understanding, suddenly that I have left religion behind. And I have never been so free in my life. Oh the strife spoon fed doctrine brings. What friendship could thrive or even survive in the confines of orthodox Christianity? I don’t know what it means for the masses but I don’t believe God can be prepackaged. I am ready for the out of the orthodox box God. Whoever he may be.
I am hungry for real conversation and conviction. I am sick of talking to the image everyone wants to portray instead of the real person that they are. We’re 20 or so. None of us have our shit together. Its fine, Being human is so much more then how you are perceived. And being exactly where you are and being raw is beautiful. To convey an image is to cut connection off before it can take root.
I have found that consumerism is the poison of the masses. Creation is this process that gives life meaning. Whatever the mode or medium, creating changes us in the process. It opens us up to others or communicates what we wish we could say. Creating your own functional dishes, art to display, poetry, and music fulfills a need. Humans are little creators. Consumerism however has poisoned our understanding of this. We have instead become imitators. We see something we like and try to reflect it in our own work.We digest what others make instead of feeding ourselves. There is nothing so meaningless as trying to portray someone else’s work. People are masters at creating what they want others to perceive them as, but fall short of ever really finding themselves.
Creation tells us who we are because it is a direct reflection of us. We create and discover who we were in turn made to be. What we can create is so diverse and we are each inclined to various mediums. If we wish to consume what others have created but we forget that it is much more then aesthetics, we miss the meaning of art entirely. We consume not to create an image of ourselves but rather to appreciate what others have created. Though what we appreciate can give a vague reflection of who a person would like to be, creation is that naked and stark truth of who one really is. I love it. I love transparency and honesty.
I am deeply saddened that so many people claim to be “uncreative”. Their conception of what creativity is has been so very distorted by this consumerist culture. I think that by finding our identities in what man has made is a fools errand. We find ourselves in paint, clay, pencils, composing, writing, wood, cooking, and building. This organic process is what we were made for.The desire to be another or make like another is an insatiable fire. It will never be quenched. How could one ever accomplish being another?
